Oh I fucked it up

Well at half nine in the morning, on the 13th of August 2008, I collect my results for my leaving certificate.
I have been studying for this directly for 3 years, while I have been studying for this indirectly for 6 years.
I would be lying that if I said I wasn't anxious about it.

The Leaving Cert defines what my intelligent capability is, weather I am worthy enough to go to the college course I want, or weather I am worthy to go to college at all.

My results are a little over 8 hours away (at the time of writing), and its a bitter sweet sensation for me. For the fact that at the moment I have no clue as to what I am doing in September. That I don't know what to be planning for. It's kinda scary not knowing what to expect. Questions run through my mind, will I repeat if I fail? Will I like the course? Will I go to a different country to study? It goes on and on.

The thought that a major aspect of my life is going to be determined tomorrow is nerve wrecking. For the thoughts that my results are in a brown envelope, in a box somewhere is so scary.

Eight Subjects, Maths, English, Irish, French, Biology, Geography, Physics, LCVP to determine my life. How can they boil it down to that?

I personally don't think I'll be celebrating tomorrow. I think I'll be sitting down and focusing on what I will be doing. ... that's the big question. What will I be doing?

I want to go to college, I want to do something interesting with my life, I want... I dunno. Its too late to do anything now, I think I fucked it up.

I should of studied all those time, I should of put in the effort. I cant say how I did, but I know I did bad, I failed French and Irish, I need them to pass. I need them to get in. Its like a crappy club that has criteria.

I'll post how I got on.